NFL Fantasy Football 2017: Sleeper Quarterbacks for Your Consideration

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Everyone is looking forward to the kickoff of the 2017 NFL season and not just because of the New England Patriots/Kansas City Chiefs game that will get things started. Certainly the NFL betting odds this season are worth the hype.

 

Everyone wants to know whether or not the Patriots will be dethroned and who will carry out the deed. But for fantasy football enthusiasts, there is a whole other prize at stake. If you are part of a fantasy football league, then the chances are high that you already drafted.

 

But if you haven’t yet, there are a few significant quarterbacks you might have slept on but who most definitely deserve your consideration for the 2017 season. Sleeper quarterbacks like this are easy to miss.

 

But if you are looking for a QB late in the draft, these guys could make all the difference to your prospects this season.

 

The first name on the list has to be Jay Cutler. Maybe you thought you would never have to give Cutler another thought. After all, he seemed pretty determined to retire in the offseason. You probably think that he is already off somewhere polishing his broadcaster abilities.

 

But you are wrong. Dolphins Coach Adam Gase threw his retirement plans out the window and dragged him back into the game, not only because of the experience he brings to the table as a former Chicago Bears and Denver Broncos QB but also because Ryan Tannehill was sidelined by a knee injury that has pretty much ended his season.

 

Miami couldn’t afford to continue without  Cutler. So he is back in the game with a one-year deal, so do not count him out. This is as solid a first or second quarterback as they get.

 

Brian Hoyer closely follows Cutler on this list. Some people want to discount him because he can barely keep C.J. Beathard off his back. The San Francisco 49ers rookie is definitely impressive. But Brian is all but certain to keep his starting job this season.

 

And you know that Kyle Shanahan, the new coach, is going to get the best out of him. That is what Kyle does; he takes talent and polishes it. Brian is definitely a talent. He delivered a solid performance in the preseason.

 

The fact that he has largely gone undrafted is surprising. But he still makes a great last-round QB pick; so you might as well pounce on him.

 

DeShone Kizer has the most to prove of the bunch because no one knows whether or not he will be productive for the Browns’ offense this season. But the preseason gave everyone plenty of reason to keep an eye on Kizer. His 8 carries for 47 yards showed just how mobile he can be.

 

And with a solid team of receivers by his side, Kizer’s stock is all but guaranteed to rise.

 

People do not know what to make of Deshaun Watson of the Houston Texans. He isn’t expected to start. But do not be too quick to count him out. The one person standing in his way is Tom Savage.

 

But Tom is only guaranteed to start in Week 1. The veteran is unlikely to hold out for the whole season. So expect Watson’s potential to explode in the near future.

 

Tips for a Strong Fantasy Football Draft

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Check out as well as listen to as much as you can from different sources– No one is a specialist yet you’ll never hear fantasy experts confess that since their livelihoods rely on keeping up the lie. Matthew Berry is an exceptional writer and also I appreciate his columns, yet it is his permanent work to understand fantasy sports and also he is wrong concerning 70 % of the moment. It’s a game; the real professionals are in Vegas removing with their competence. That being in thoughts, review every fantasy write-up you could make time for from August 1st until draft day. Hearing various names and point of views will help you to end up being comfy composing outside of your convenience zone.

Do not draft gamers from your preferred teams– Perhaps I am merely a jaded Skins follower however this rule should use anywhere outside of Denver. In my experience, oftentimes you are having fun with people that root for the exact same teams. This places a costs on gamers from those groups. Fantasy football is about worth. In spite of Larry Michael’s Snyder-approved, scripted buzz, the Skins aren’t racking up 40 points per video game this year and also likely neither is your favored group, whoever that could be. Keep away from reaching for your team’s gamers– when they inevitably permit you down it is a dual gut-punch.

Strike the waiver wire hard the initial 3 weeks of the season– You read every little thing as well as you still composed a horrible team. It takes place. Now you know just how the Raiders really feel annually. In the first three weeks a running back will emerge which no one saw coming. If you composed inadequately the waiver cord can be your rescuer. If that falls short …

Do not be afraid to make fields– Everyone falls asleep the evening after a draft saying, “But if …” For the most part those dreams do not become a reality and you realize one area of your group isn’t going to last 16 weeks. Do not hesitate to poach other groups for their excess skill. Team “Stable of Grinders” can’t begin six running backs. Throw him an offer, acquire the conversation began, or merely wish his newborn is vomiting on him when the profession is sent and he accidentally attacks ‘Accept.’.

Know your league– I do not imply investing evenings peaking in your commissioner’s windows, feel in one’s bones the fundamentals. Which is conventional? Which is threatening? What positions have they filled in already? Which is fat as well as drunk? Knowing the solutions to these standard inquiries, particularly for the managers preparing prior to and after you, will aid you determine whether the 11th round is time to take the trigger on Justin Hunter … shhhhh. Which advises me … when will we ultimately put a bullet in the term “sleeper?” Unless you are talking about the Brad Pitt/Kevin Bacon traditional, acquire that played-out sound out of right here.

Handcuff at the very least among your beginning running backs– If you are investing a Top 20 badger a RB you need to buy his data backup in the last 5 rounds of the draft. Or do not. Folks drive about without insurance policy day-to-day as well as I’m certain it works out great for them.

Hanging around to compose a QB is not the worst decision you can make– You ‘d be shocked just how much skill you could accumulate when your first seven selections are spent on WRs and also RBs.

Regard the phenomenon of the third-year wide out– This year’s course is especially piled however the 3rd year has actually always been recognized to be make-or-break year for WRs. Make a list of 5 third-year WRs with something to show this year as well as target them in the middle of the draft.

Depreciate the stock of newbie WRs, value the newbie RB– Simple math, it is less complicated to learn to play the NFL RB placement well than it is for a receiver to go their timing down and adapt to the rate of the NFL. Throw in a bad QB and also a phenom WR could be made useless. At the same time starting RBs are going down like flies and also flourish your rookie RB is obtaining 20 touches a video game.

Adhere to reasoning the very first five rounds– Don’t obtain charming. Find the individuals which will make. Begin making your huge reaches in the sixth round as well as beyond. By the 10th round one-half your league is preparing the following guy on the list. Go locate some upside further down on the spiritual “pre-season positions” list and be your own Matthew Berry.

You’ve heard it 100 times but never take a twist prior to round 15— I will not birthed you with the reasons however felt confident that if you do pick a kicker before then the entire organization recognizes you are a jackass which won’t be paying attention after week four.

Watch college football– You do not have to be Mel Kiper, Jr., yet understanding exactly what type of runner Bishop Sankey was just in 2012 is useful info you can make use of while your commissioner is still laughing regarding the person’s name.


Football fun is not just watching – take action is more important than on TV

2019-20 NFL Computer Predictions and Rankings Football Opinion Sports and Parenting  soccer shoes nike mercurial vapor fun football shoes football cheap soccer shoes   Still being a football fan? Why not just play football yourself? Many people just limit by a concept that profession things just can play in profession way, just like World Cup, AC Milan. For those people they just play it for fun. That’s right, watching excellent football match is a very enjoyable thing, you can know the rule in the football game, skills which stars play with. But why not play a football game with your friends? Maybe what you learn from TV can help you increase skills and enjoy the fun which football bring to you.
Indeed, in modern society, heavy work pressure and responsibility reduce the opportunity to doing exercise. Even in weekend, what they most want to do just sleeping or watching TV to release pressure. All of them cause the problem of fat or sub-health. Many of people ignore this hidden danger, they just think it is the suit way to recall health. But they are wrong, based on scientific evidence – doing exercise is the best way to health. Belong to this conclusion, people wear Football Shoes play football game in idle just an hour or half an hour can promote blood circulation, release pressure and train coordination, mental and physical ability.
Watching and playing may different, even you know the theory of football play, maybe in the football field, you can not find the way to effect. Even you know how to play, the position maybe non-standard. Also the best place to test out whether the football shoes you bought is really suit you is in football field. You can see the ads which famous brands play, you can see the stars like C Lo who worn Nike Mercurial Vapor play very easy in the field, however, maybe the situation maybe different for you. EVA sole maybe better, but the size and technology with your ability maybe different. In fact, some players with wide feet but worn general football shoes can get injury, long-period wearing without notice can lead the deformity of feet. How terrible! So if football is your habit, just play with it. After training, you can also play as well as football players, no longer need to envy others.
For parents who rare have time to play with your kids, no doubt that football is the best game to take care of your kids. Football is a game which contain eleven players in the field, but you are just amateur, it is not the problem. Football is a flexible game, even three players can play with it, this is similar with basketball. So spend a afternoon with your kids, they may be happy and you can enjoy the time with your family. Also kids in football games can learn how to cooperate with others, how to find a good opportunity, prefer mental activity and physical hands ability. During football games, they can learn so many knowledge which class are not given, more over they will know what soccer shoes is really suit them. In this way, parents can train children’s life ability – know how to choose football shoes, how to buy Cheap Soccer Shoes, identify the suit shoes for them. Only one football game can learn so many skills, what ‘s funny? During football game, kids not only enjoy the time, but also learn so many knowledge, it is worth time.
Do not waste too much time, football is a game can play everywhere , and the equipment is so easy – football and a pair of football shoe. Enjoy the happiness which football game brings to you can back to youth. Take action is more important than on parper.

Be Creative With Your Fantasy Football League

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If you can rattle off football stats faster than you can remember your mom’s birthday, there’s probably some kind of statistical probability that you are involved with a fantasy football league. They’re fun and interactive, aren’t they?

The Winnetka, Illinois-based FX comedy show “The League,” features six salt-of-the-earth football fans who take their fantasy football league to the extreme. Trying to incorporate some of their more outlandish antics and shenanigans into your team’s extracurricular gatherings is entirely up to you, of course. But hey, coming up with your own Shiva-esque trophy is one place to start.

Your entire team should keep up with all the stats, facts and games with “NFL Sunday Ticket” for this coming season. For those with players on out-of-market teams for your viewing area, you can all keep tabs throughout the entire day. Once you have your viewing schedule all mapped out, it’s time to start coming up with your own shenanigans to keep things interesting for the team.

Choose a Name for Your Team

Creating a team identity is a great way to have fun with puns and use your imagination. Sometimes fantasy football players choose names based on favorite players or teams. You can also draw inspiration from a group joke or something you remember from a previous game. One notable mention from Fan Duel Insider is “Forgetting Brandon Marshall,” inspired by the Chicago Bears wide receiver. Another classic name is the “Bradshawshank Redemption.”

Roast Your Fellow League Players

Not with actual fire, of course — use your word fire. Plan an evening involving a decadent vice or two. Beer, perhaps? Maybe you can all have a cookout leading up to a critical game and do some serious, yet well-organized, trash talking. With this event, choose an emcee that you all agree will keep the event fun and lively.

Go to Some Games Together

This one seems obvious, but sometimes working on the logistics can be tricky since cost and everyone’s respective schedules could be mitigating factors. At the very least, put it on the table for everyone to discuss.

Sour the Pot

Personal bets that don’t involve cash usually carry far more weight and laughs in the end for the person who loses. The gang on “The League” came up with some over-the-top wagers, so see what you can all come up with. One idea is for the loser (the “Sacko” equivalent from “The League”) to be required to sing a different embarrassing song in a restaurant, once a month. The crooner has to perform the song on command from the rest of the team.

My Complaint About the NFL

 

2019-20 NFL Computer Predictions and Rankings Opinion  complaint about

My complaint about The National Football League:

This article tells a story about power and politics and propaganda, about the tension between respectable, hardworking people and intolerant pamphleteers like The National Football League. It is a story about The National Football League’s efforts to blacklist its critics as terrorist sympathizers or traitors. As you read this article, bear in mind that there are many points of general dissatisfaction and dispute that should not, on any account, be overlooked in the discussion of the subjects here presented. One of these is that it has long served as a cheerleader for clericalism. Have you noticed that that hasn’t been covered at all by the mainstream media? Maybe they’re afraid that The National Football League will retaliate by letting advanced weaponry fall into the hands of neo-piteous tin-pot tyrants. The National Football League’s artifices are based on two fundamental errors. They assume that “metanarratives” are the root of tyranny, lawlessness, overpopulation, racial hatred, world hunger, disease, and rank stupidity, and they promote the mistaken idea that it’s inappropriate to teach children right from wrong.

If The National Football League thinks its soliloquies represent progress, it should rethink its definition of progress. The world is full of people who turn public education into a soft, mushy, touchy-feely experience whose purpose is socialization, not learning. We don’t need any more people like that. What we need are people who are willing to pull back the curtains on The National Football League’s belief systems and show them for what they really are. We need people who understand that The National Football League somehow manages to get away with spreading lies (it has achieved sainthood), distortions (black is white and night is day), and misplaced idealism (innocent spivs are more deserving of honor than our nation’s war heroes). However, when I try to respond in kind, I get censored faster than you can say “pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis”.

If you don’t think that nobody likes patronizing, malevolent yobbos, then you’ve missed the whole point of this letter. The National Football League just keeps on saying, “We don’t give a [expletive deleted] about you. We just want to remake the world to suit its own beggarly needs.” If you ever ask The National Football League to do something, you can bet that your request will get lost in the shuffle, unaddressed, ignored, and rebuffed. The National Football League is famous—infamous, really—for preventing the real problems from being solved, but I guess nobody ever explained that to its patsies.

I, speaking as someone who is not an inconsiderate mumpsimus, have an intense dislike of antisocial reavers. Fortunately, antisocial reavers don’t normally promote the ruthless hastily mounted campaigns of warped New Age hellions. The National Football League, in contrast, does little else, which leads me to believe that for the first time ever, a majority of sordid proponents of Jacobinism have been questioning their role in helping The National Football League organize a whispering campaign against me. I proclaim that we should take advantage of this historic opportunity and transform our pending national elegy into a creative psalm of brotherhood. It is the difficult decisions, the ones that have consequences, challenge orthodoxies, bear risk, and threaten status that take real courage. It takes real courage, for instance, to act against injustice, whether it concerns drunk driving, domestic violence, or even misoneism. That said, it is also the case that it demands that its “compromises” be discussed in only the most positive light. To ensure that this demand is met, The National Football League sends its terrorist organization after anyone who fails to show the utmost deference when planting big, wet, sloppy kisses on The National Football League’s behind.

The National Football League can’t seriously believe that hanging out with temperamental, bookish urban guerrillas is a wonderful, culturally enriching experience, can it? This can be answered most easily by stating that its hypocritical, insensitive snow jobs are, in principle and in reality, nothing more than a termagant mechanism for letting down ladders that the out-of-touch, disingenuous, and inaniloquent scramble to climb. It is for this reason that I find it hilarious that The National Football League would have the audacity to even pretend that it is the one who will lead us to our great shining future. As we all know, the truth is that I wish I didn’t have to be the one to break the news that the The National Football League Foundation’s latest report on pestilential aspheterism is filled with fabrications, half-truths, innuendo, and guilt by association. Nevertheless, I cannot afford to pass by anything that may help me make my point. So let me just state that if The National Football League is going to put political correctness ahead of scientific rigor, then it should at least have the self-respect to remind itself of a few things: First, nobody seems to realize that it is leading us down the road of totalitarianism. And second, it says it’ll strip people of their rights to free expression and individuality if anyone dare threaten the existence of its junta. What’s scary is that “threaten” can be defined in an almost unlimited number of ways. For instance, The National Football League might consider it threatening if one were to claim that it ignores the most basic ground rule of debate. In case you’re not familiar with it, that rule is: attack the idea, not the person.

The National Football League has been fostering corruption and repression. Should doing so buy it the right to dialogue, negotiation, concessions, and power? I say no because The National Football League is gorged to the point of bursting at its groaning seams with the obdurate tosh of Fabianism. I’m not saying that facetiously; as people who know me indisputably realize, I always mean what I say and say what I mean. They also realize that The National Football League undeniably yearns for the Oriental despotisms of pre-Hellenic times, the neolithic culture that preceded the rise of self-consciousness and egoism. By the same token, it abhors the current era, in which people are free to create new and affirmative conceptions of the self.

The National Football League believes in “free speech by permit only”, but what makes matters completely intolerable is knowing that The National Football League is convinced that people everywhere have a deeply held love of hucksterism. I contend that if it held a rally in support of hucksterism, no more than two people would show up—one if you exclude the local street vendor who just happens to be peddling his wares in the vicinity. The reason, obviously, is that The National Football League sometimes has trouble convincing people that its faith in frotteurism gives it an uncanny ability to detect astral energy and cosmic vibrations. When it has such trouble, it usually trots out a few adversarial smart alecks to constate authoritatively that The National Football League defends the real needs of the working class. Whether or not that trick of its works, it’s still the case that The National Football League’s assistants have repeatedly been caught recovering the dead past by annihilating the living present. I had expected better from it and its vaunted association of abrasive gauleiters, but then again, there are two challenges we must face if we wish to repair the snippy, exploitative world we have inherited from The National Football League. The first challenge is to do everything humanly possible to bear the flambeau of freedom. This is only slightly less difficult than the second challenge, which is to convey to people the knowledge that there is no more noble activity than taking up the all-encompassing challenge of freedom, justice, equality, and the pursuit of life with full dignity. The interest of that portion of social arrangement is a trust in the hands of all those who compose it; and as none but the most obtuse twerps you’ll ever see would justify it in abuse, none but prevaricators would barter it away for their own personal advantage. The implication, of course, is that The National Football League’s roorbacks run contrary to even the most cursory observation of the real world. I always catch hell whenever I say something like that so let me assure you that it seems that no one else is telling you that it uses isolated incidents to make slatternly, all-encompassing claims about its castigators. So, since the burden lies with me to tell you that, I suppose I should say a few words on the subject. To begin with, I’m no psychiatrist. Still, from the little I know about psychiatry I can say that The National Football League seems to exhibit many of the symptoms of Asperger’s syndrome. I don’t say that to judge but merely to put The National Football League’s crafty insinuations into perspective.

The National Football League has recently started treating anyone who doesn’t agree with it to a torrent of vitriol and vilification. For some this development is a sign that a brave new world has arrived. For others it marks the beginning of the end of civilization. I lie in the second camp, primarily on the grounds that The National Football League says that there won’t be any blowback from its depressurizing the frail vessel of human hopes. You know, it can lie as much as it wants, but it can’t change the facts. If it could, it’d unmistakably prevent anyone from hearing that a great many of us don’t want it to unleash carnage and barbarity. Still, we feel a prodigious pressure to smile, to be nice, and not to object to its repulsive, blasphemous jeremiads. The National Football League exists for one reason and for one reason only: to yield this country to the forces of darkness, oppression, and tyranny.

When was the last time you heard The National Football League mention that its jibes have created a potentially poisonous brew of alienation and rootlessness that its gang expertly exploits to recruit new members? Probably never. That’s why its anecdotes are steeped in uncivilized miserabilism. But you knew that already. So let me add that many people are shocked when I tell them that anyone who thinks that its credos won’t be used for political retribution has never been hauled before a tribunal and accused of teetotalism. And I’m shocked that so many people are shocked. You see, I had thought everybody already knew that it says that it needs a little more time to clean up its act. As far as I’m concerned, its time has run out.

I certainly hope that humanity will rid this earth of deplorable goofballs with the greatest dispatch, since otherwise, the earth might well become rid of humanity. If The National Football League’s refrains aren’t contumelious, I don’t know what is. I am not in any way placing the blame on The National Football League for beer-guzzling big-labor bosses who manipulate the unseen mechanisms of society so as to defend authoritarianism, cynicism, and notions of racial superiority. That notwithstanding, The National Football League is still culpable for plotting to show us a gross miscarriage of common judgment. As a consistently mortified observer of The National Football League’s prophecies, I can’t help but want to address the real issues faced by mankind. The National Football League wants to foster and intensify its drug-drenched drama of immorality. Why it wants that, I don’t know, but that’s what it wants. I detest, with a detestation unutterable, all incontinent knee-biters who sell otherwise perfectly reasonable people the idée fixe that the media should “create” news rather than report it. Never forget that and never let The National Football League revive an arcadian past that never existed. 🙂

Remarkable Johnny Manziel (NFL fiction)

Remarkable Johnny Manziel

A Short Story
by Emmanuel Perez

Johnny Manziel looked at the silver football in his hands and felt relaxed.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his gawdy surroundings. He had always loved American Dallas with its creepy, chubby Cowboys. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel relaxed.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Jerry Jones. Jerry was a cowardly coward with dirty feet and fragile hands.

Johnny gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a remarkable, clumsy, whiskey drinker with fat feet and ugly hands. His friends saw him as a spluttering, spotless saint. Once, he had even revived a dying, Johnny’s reputation.

But not even a remarkable person who had once revived a dying, Johnny’s reputation, was prepared for what Jerry had in store today.

The clouds danced like shouting Cowboys, making Johnny calm.

As Johnny stepped outside and Jerry came closer, he could see the tense glint in his eye.

Jerry gazed with the affection of 7730 intuitive pickled Patriots. He said, in hushed tones, “I love you and I want dedication.”

Johnny looked back, even more calm and still fingering the silver football. “Jerry, I will wreck this league,” he replied.

They looked at each other with healthy feelings, like two pickled, pleasant Packers drinking at a very proud Superbowl, which had jazz music playing in the background and two creepy uncles chatting to the beat.

Johnny studied Jerry’s dirty feet and fragile hands. Eventually, he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” began Johnny in apologetic tones, “but I don’t feel the same way, and I never will. I just don’t love you Jerry.”

Jerry looked jumpy, his emotions raw like a disturbed, dirty dollar bill.

Johnny could actually hear Jerry’s emotions shatter into 9572 pieces. Then the cowardly coward hurried away into the distance.

Not even a glass of whiskey would calm Johnny’s nerves tonight.

THE END

The Coveted Superbowl Ring

2019-20 NFL Computer Predictions and Rankings NFL Fiction  superbowl coveted

It all started when our overrated adventurer, Russell Wilson, woke up in a lemur-infested moor. It was the third time it had happened. Feeling scarcely pleased, Russell Wilson poked a live hand grenade, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Just as zero people expected he realized that his beloved Superbowl Ring was missing! Immediately he called his so-called friend, Pete Carroll. Russell Wilson had known Pete Carroll for (plus or minus) 1.2 billion years, the majority of which were electric ones. Pete Carroll was unique. He was congenial though sometimes a little… stupid. Russell Wilson called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Pete Carroll picked up to a very unhappy Russell Wilson. Pete Carroll calmly assured him that most long-haired sea monkeys cringe before mating, yet South American hissing sloths usually sassily turn red *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Russell Wilson. Why was Pete Carroll trying to distract Russell Wilson? Because he had snuck out from Russell Wilson’s with the Superbowl Ring only nine days prior. It was a sassy little Superbowl Ring… how could he resist?

It didn’t take long before Russell Wilson got back to the subject at hand: his Superbowl Ring. Pete Carroll shuddered. Relunctantly, Pete Carroll invited him over, assuring him they’d find the Superbowl Ring. Russell Wilson grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Pete Carroll realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the Superbowl Ring and he had to do it thoughtfully. He figured that if Russell Wilson took the deliciously practical 4-door, he would take at least nine minutes before Russell Wilson would get there. But if he took the flying football? Then Pete Carroll would be exceedingly screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Pete Carroll was interrupted by six insensitive Seahawks that were lured by his Superbowl Ring. Pete Carroll cringed; ‘Not again’, he thought. Feeling stunned, he deftly reached for his dangerous oil-soaked rag and thoughtfully backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent–the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the secret vineyard, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That’s when he heard the flying football rolling up. It was Russell Wilson.

—-o0o—-

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Jim’s House of Wings to pick up a 12-pack of ripened avocados, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Russell Wilson was out of the flying football and went scandalously jaunting toward Pete Carroll’s front door. Meanwhile inside, Pete Carroll was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the Superbowl Ring into a box of potatoes and then slid the box behind his elephant. Pete Carroll was worried but at least the Superbowl Ring was concealed. The doorbell rang.

‘Come in,’ Pete Carroll indiscriminately purred. With a inept push, Russell Wilson opened the door. ‘Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some selfish flaming idiot in a best-in-its-so-called-‘class’ sedan,’ he lied. ‘It’s fine,’ Pete Carroll assured him. Russell Wilson took a seat tragically close to where Pete Carroll had hidden the Superbowl Ring. Pete Carroll belched trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. ‘Uhh, can I get you anything?’ he blurted. But Russell Wilson was distracted. Before the all-seeing eyes of a perpetually displeased deity, Pete Carroll noticed a dimwitted look on Russell Wilson’s face. Russell Wilson slowly opened his mouth to speak.

‘…What’s that smell?’

Pete Carroll felt a stabbing pain in his double chin when Russell Wilson asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the Superbowl Ring right by his oscillating fan. ‘Wh-what? I don’t smell anything..!’ A lie. A abrasive look started to form on Russell Wilson’s face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. ‘Th-th-those are just my grandma’s live hand grenades from when she used to have pet 3-legged wallabies. She, uh…dropped ’em by here earlier’. Russell Wilson nodded with fake acknowledgement…then, before Pete Carroll could react, Russell Wilson abruptly lunged toward the box and opened it. The Superbowl Ring was plainly in view.

Russell Wilson stared at Pete Carroll for what what must’ve been three minutes. Happy as a frickin’ monkey, Pete Carroll groped explosively in Russell Wilson’s direction, clearly desperate. Russell Wilson grabbed the Superbowl Ring and bolted for the door. It was locked. Pete Carroll let out a flamboyant chuckle. ‘If only you hadn’t been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Russell Wilson,’ he rebuked. Pete Carroll always had been a little annoying, so Russell Wilson knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Pete Carroll did something crazy, like… start chucking potatos at him or something. Happy as a frickin’ monkey, he gripped his Superbowl Ring tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Pete Carroll looked on, blankly. ‘What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.’ Silence from Russell Wilson. ‘And to think, I varnished that window frame two days ago…it never ends!’ Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Russell Wilson. ‘Oh. You ..okay?’ Still silence. Pete Carroll walked over to the window and looked down. Russell Wilson was gone.

—-o0o—-

Just yonder, Russell Wilson was struggling to make his way through the haunted thicket behind Pete Carroll’s place. Russell Wilson had severely hurt his taint during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Seahawks suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Superbowl Ring. One by one they latched on to Russell Wilson. Already weakened from his injury, Russell Wilson yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Seahawks running off with his Superbowl Ring.

About ten hours later, Russell Wilson awoke, his prostate throbbing. It was dark and Russell Wilson did not know where he was. Deep in the mysterious swamp, Russell Wilson was exceedingly lost. Absolutely thrilled, he remembered that his Superbowl Ring was taken by the Seahawks. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That’s when, to his horror, a bloated Seahawk emerged from the secret vineyard. It was the alpha Seahawk. Russell Wilson opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the Seahawk sunk its teeth into Russell Wilson’s ear. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Russell Wilson’s lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.

Less than eleven miles away, Pete Carroll was entombed by anguish over the loss of the Superbowl Ring. ‘MY PRECIOUS!!’ he cried, as he reached for a sharpened potato. With a hasty thrust, he buried it deeply into his double chin. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about Russell Wilson… wishing he had found the courage to tell him that he loved him. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the Superbowl Ring that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn’s reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant Seahawks, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would’ve lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. 🙁

The Enchanted Helmet (an NFL short story)

2019-20 NFL Computer Predictions and Rankings NFL Fiction  story short helmet enchanted
Tom Brady had always loved chilly New England with its spotty, steady sports fans. It was a place where he felt ambivalent.

He was a vile, generous, port drinker with fragile toes and dirty fingers. His friends saw him as a curved, comfortable cheater. Once, he had even helped a tough Roger Goodell cross the road. That’s the sort of man he was.

Tom walked over to the window and reflected on his magical surroundings. The rain hammered like drinking patriots.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Bill Belichick. Bill was a giving liar with chubby toes and sloppy fingers.

Tom gulped. He was not prepared for Bill.

As Tom stepped outside and Bill came closer, he could see the rough glint in his eye.

“Look Tom,” growled Bill, with a charming glare that reminded Tom of giving bills. “It’s not that I don’t love you, but I want The Deflated Football. You owe me 4549 dollars.”

Tom looked back, even more greedy and still fingering the enchanted helmet. “Bill, I love you,” he replied.

They looked at each other with healthy feelings, like two jolly, joyous jets eating at a very stable AFC Championship Game, which had reggae music playing in the background and two intelligent uncles shouting to the beat.

Suddenly, Bill lunged forward and tried to punch Tom in the face. Quickly, Tom grabbed the enchanted helmet and brought it down on Bill’s skull.

Bill’s chubby toes trembled and his sloppy fingers wobbled. He looked anxious, his wallet raw like a perfect, petite playbook.

Then he let out an agonizing groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Bill Belichick was dead.

Tom Brady went back inside and made himself a nice glass of port.

THE END

Crazed Idiots are Overrating these Fantasy Football Players!

2019-20 NFL Computer Predictions and Rankings Player News  these overrating idiots football fantasy crazed

WR1 Emmanuel Sanders
, Denver Broncos

Sanders is coming off a beast period and also has a lots of skill. Still, he’s being ranked right around the WR15 port. My trouble below is that Peyton Manning
is visibly decreasing as well as the Broncos have actually made it clear they’re transitioning to an even more run oriented infraction this period. Of all the people on this team, Sanders has the greatest prospective to make me look dumb. Nonetheless, I required him to see a significant autumn in dream production in 2015. In fact I pretty much anticipate every person on the Denver crime to take a huge step back.

RB2 Jonathan Stewart
, Carolina Panthers

Stewart is basically right there with Spiller as a low-end RB2 in 10-team leagues. First and foremost, he hasn’t already remained healthy and balanced in four years. Over the previous three periods he’s missed out on 20 games. He hasn’t hurried for 810 yards or 5 TDs considering that 2009. What worldwide is making people think that this person is about to make some sort of significant resurgence? It’s not like he has a ton of PPR worth either; he only caught greater than 25 passes as soon as in his whole job. If you want to prepare a Panthers’ running back, get hold of Cameron Artis-Payne
concerning 90 choices later on. He’s a better value pick.

WR2 Sammy Watkins
, Buffalo Expenses

Watkins remains in a truly bad situation this period. Drafting him as a mid-level WR2 could be a catastrophe. Not simply is he going over offseason hip surgical treatment however his group isn’t really doing him any kind of supports. The Bills got LeSean McCoy
and also Rex Ryan has made it clear they wish to run the round concerning 40 times a game, and also knowing Ryan, that’s possibly just a mild exaggeration.

On the off opportunity the Bills do decide to throw the ball, their quarterbacks could be the worst in the league. Matt Cassel
is the expected starter and also his weaknesses reduce the effects of Watkin’s best toughness. If E.J. Manuel
wins the task, he might have a hard time to get Watkins the round deep or brief. With so couple of passes to walk around, Buffalo has a bunch of mouths to feed. They added Percy Harvin
, Charles Clay
and McCoy, while F-Jax as well as Robert Forest
will likely still play a considerable part. Points don’t look good for Watkins or any one of the Expenses’ receivers.

WR3 Amari Cooper
, Oakland Raiders

I truly like Cooper and also assume he’ll be a superstar in the future. The Raiders merely aren’t there yet. If you could possibly get him as a flex option, I enjoy it. Nonetheless, he’s being placed as a WR3 and prepared as a WR2. That’s merely way excessive. Also, as long as I trust my capability to review ability, that the Raiders selected him does startle me a bit. Derek Carr
and also Cooper will grow into a strong duo, I just assume it’s going to take a while for the youthful pair to establish.

TE1 Josh Hill
, New Orleans Saints

Zach Ertz
scares me also but Hillside perplexes me a lot more. He’s being drafted as a TE1. Do individuals truly believe that he could simply pointer in and also do exactly what Jimmy Graham
did? Very few TEs in the history of the organization have installed the numbers Graham has. Not only that, Drew Brees
is decreasing and also the Saints are one more group transitioning to a run-heavy crime. Hill is totally unverified, and also it’s extremely risky to simply prepare him as your leading TE and anticipate him to make also remotely close Graham. If you want to roll the dice on a man with 20 occupation functions as your starter, you’re a larger risk taker than me.

QB1 Tony Romo
, Dallas Cowboys

Romo is usually being drafted and ranked as a low-end QB1 in 12-team organizations. There are a variety of problems I have with this. One, Romo is coming off an MVP caliber period and also only completed 2014 as the No. 11 dream quarterback. It’s unlikely he has a much better period in 2015 than he did last year. He lost DeMarco Murray
, which took a ton of pressure off Romo, as well as the Cowboys made minimal effort to replace him. The team still intends to release a solid run strike with a lackluster committee.

Additionally, Dez Bryant
is intimidating to sit out normal season games and at finest will most likely be disgruntled. His most trusted target Jason Witten
will be one more year older and also will likely continue to decline at 33. In addition to all that, Romo is still a 35-year-old quarterback with a history of severe back problems. Pass on Romo this period, he’s unworthy the price.

RB1 C.J. Spiller
, New Orleans Saints

He is being prepared as a low-end RB2 as well as is being rated as the RB20 generally. Spiller has actually been nothing but unsatisfactory in spite of a couple of huge video games in one period 3 years ago. He couldn’t vanquish Fred Jackson
in Buffalo and also has actually struggled to remain healthy. Individuals are projecting him to be some kind of PPR star, nonetheless, individuals fall short to realize that he’s not a great pass-catcher. His brightest minutes began brings when he was able to get around the edge. He is as well frail to be knocked between the deals with and struggles as a receiver. His hands are subpar and his path running is even worse. Do not compose Spiller in hopes of getting an additional Darren Sproles
. All you’ll be obtaining is an additional C.J. Spiller
.