The Top 5 Online Casinos To Try This Year

Since the innovation of online gaming, the gaming industry has evolved at a high pace. However, online gambling is still young and constantly changing. The legislation changes around the world and technological innovations have led to new sites, improvement of some online casinos, and closer of other gaming websites. These factors make it difficult for gamblers to stay up to date with which sites are the best and the ones to avoid. A leading online casino in one year could easily be overtaken by others in the next year. As a gambler, you need to update yourself on the rankings of online casinos. This article provides the top five online casinos to try this year.

1. Spin Palace Online Casino

The Spin Palace casino is your one-stop destination if you are looking for a site that has it all. The casino was launched in 2001 and has since gained popularity from gamblers all over the globe. The casino is fully licensed and approved by eCOGRA, a United Kingdom-based agency that specializes in certifying online gaming software and system. The casino offers a triple deposit bonus of up to $1000. With over 500 games, the casino has plenty of banking options and a full-time customer service. You can also access the site on your smartphone at any time of the day. The site also offers rewards to its regular players.

2. Jackpot City

With plenty of games to choose from, Jackpot City is among the best online casinos in 2019. The site offers its players with generous bonuses, regular promotions, lucky draws, and a variety of banking options. You will also receive the best customer support throughout the day. This online casino welcomes its new players with an offer of $1600.

3. 888 Online Casino

This site provides a wild celebration with its 270+ games. Since 1997, the casino continues to provide the best experience in Slot, Card, Table, and even Live Casino games. 888 casino has the highest safety and security measures. Players get a unique experience since the site develops its game from scratch. The customer support is available 24/7 and in 18 languages. 888 online casino is fully licensed and practices total transparency.

4. Gaming Club

Established in 1994, the casino is the first ever successfully launched online casino. About 23 years down the line, the casino is still among the best gaming destinations. This online casino has over 500 games, quick banking options, and a bonus of up to $350 for new members. The site is secure and has a 24/7 customer support team. Gaming club also offers you with an opportunity to win in any of their daily, weekly, and monthly promotions.

5. Ruby Fortune

This online site is a combination of the best online games, welcome bonuses, excellent security measures, and other player’s benefits. This global online casino was established in 2003, and it now has a user friendly mobile version. With its 24/7 customer support, you can enjoy a variety of games and wins.

Using your laptop or smartphone, you can access a variety of gambling site and test your luck. Make sure you play with the best casinos to prevent fraud and other security concerns.  

 

Vikings May Be Looking To Pay Adam Thielen What He Is Worth

If you ever wanted proof that timing matters, look no further than the current contract situation for Minnesota Vikings Adam Thielen. The undrafted wide receiver proved his value over the first four years of his career. So, the Vikings rewarded him, on the following season of 2016, with an appropriate contract extension: four years for $19.246 million.

He responded the subsequent season, in 2017, as every team hopes a player responds after getting a new contract extension—he played even better.

Then last season he took his game a step further by having his first 100+ reception year, his second with 1000+ yards and nine touchdowns (both career records). Talk about earning his keep, right?

It is easy to say that he was and he is an absolute bargain for the Vikings. After one good season in 2016, his contract was more than fair. But considering how his game has progressed the last two seasons despite all the quarterback changes, do the Vikings owe him? Clearly, he has outplayed his contract.

However, the team is under no obligation to renegotiate. Thielen’s contract was fair at the time. But what pushes the ‘new contract’ narrative forward for Thielen is the contract Stefon Diggs signed the year after Thielen signed his.

Following the 2017 season, and his incredible catch against the Saints in the playoffs, Diggs signed a five-year extension for $72 million. To be fair, the three seasons before his extension were better than Thielen’s. But they were also nothing special (200 total catches for 2472 yards and 15 touchdowns).

By his numbers, he appeared to be more deserving of the kind of deal Thielen got than Thielen was. But coming after his big catch against the Saints in the playoffs, his name was hot. It was the perfect time to shoot for the stars, and it worked.

The only problem now is that his deal makes it look like the Vikings are not doing right by Thielen.

It would be well within the Vikings rights to just wait and pay Thielen accordingly in his next extension. But then they run the risk of him becoming disillusioned with the team and feeling underappreciated—which could lead to a desire to switch teams.

But, according to some recent media reports, it doesn’t sound like the Vikings are going to wait. They have extended players contracts in the past before they were due for an extension and it looks like Thielen could be getting an extension this year.

“This team has a lot of really good things in place for it, and I know they want to take care of Adam, and I know they want Adam there and I know they want to reward Adam,” his agent, Blake Baratz said during a recent media appearance.

He went on to say that he doesn’t know what the Vikings are going to offer, but that he is ‘cautiously optimistic’ the Vikings will give Thielen the kind of raise he deserves. If the offer isn’t good, he could just hold out, right?

Yes, he could. But Baratz told Courtney Cronin from ESPN that isn’t the kind of thing his client would do; he’s not that type of person.

Of course, the willingness to extend a player everyone deems worthy and actually doing so are two different things. The Vikings could just be talking the talk right now; that doesn’t mean they will absolutely walk it later. However, history tells us that they most likely will.

So, then the next question will be whether Thielen’s intensity and production slacks off after he gets paid. It is not an uncommon phenomenon among professional athletes. But it is more likely that his numbers will go up in his second season with Kirk Cousins rather than down.

What Does the Post-PASPA Gambling Landscape Hold for the United States?

In May of 2018, the US Supreme Court overturned the earlier PASPA ruling that had effectively outlawed any form of sports betting in the country. While there had been some notable exceptions, mostly in illegal form, it was clear that the United States was entering a new era,

As we head towards the end of the year, it’s a good opportunity to reflect on the decision and to assess the pros and cons of legal sports gambling across America.

Early Adopters

It’s fair to say that the PASPA ruling has led to a trickle of developments as opposed to a flood. When America got the go ahead on sports betting, some of the biggest names in the industry made an early move and we saw some gambling floors built in established Las Vegas casinos.

Betting operations also moved to the racetrack and some early sports sponsorship deals were struck between operators and clubs across America. A high profile merger also took place between a well known brand and a US Daily Fantasy Sports (DFS) site so there were some early movements in the wake of the decision. To date, only a few states have adopted sports betting and the forecast for growth remains steady rather than spectacular.

A report in November 2018 claimed that in two years, the number of American states allowing sports betting would grow to 24 but is this a good move or are there concerns about the developing situation?

Building the Coffers

One of the clear benefits of introducing sports betting would be the additional revenue that each individual state stands to earn. Back in August of 2018, a report carried out by Oxford University suggested that the industry could provide a $14 billion boost to the US GDP on an annual basis and the performance of the gambling sector in other countries indicates that this is no wild claim.

Over in the UK, reports show that the gambling industry there brings in close to £14 billion annually so, in a country as vast and as populous as the United States, there must be scope to hit the $14 billion mark.

Keeping it Clean

Legalised betting will also help to bring the practise out of the underground and away from the world of criminal activities. The US has its own problems and in other countries where sports betting is outlawed, the criminals find a way to carry on regardless.

Elsewhere, the PASPA ruling has also opened the door for official sports sponsorship and some brands have been quick to adopt this. The NBA and NHL have been lining up betting partners while soccer side the Las Vegas Lights secured a high profile sponsor to bring much needed funds into the club.

The Potential Downsides

When the announcement from the US Supreme Court was made in May, there were some dissenting voices and that’s to be expected. Among the concerns was the issue of gambling addiction which can be evident in other countries while some sports governing bodies felt that legalised sports betting could usher in the spectre of match fixing.

A further concern may be brought to life as the situation develops: As individual states in the US choose to adopt sports betting, there is a school of thought suggesting that those that delay or refuse to allow the practise may see a rise in illegal activities.

There are some points to consider but on the whole, the outlook for sports betting in the United States is a positive one and it will be fascinating to see the situation develop through 2019 and beyond.

Bears Growl and Lions Roar on America’s Thanksgiving Day 2018

It’s a skirmish of NFC North opponents in the Motor City to commence week 12 activity in the NFL on Thanksgiving. The Chicago Bears are out and about as they make the trek to confront the Detroit Lions Thursday evening. Chicago knocked off Minnesota 25-20 at home on Sunday night to keep their teeth on the division lead. Detroit held tight for a 20-19 win at home over Carolina Sunday evening in their last challenge. The Bears claim a 98-74-5 advantage in the history between the groups,including a 34-22 win at home in the first meeting this season on November 11.

CHICAGO BEARS

Chicago rung up their fourth straight victory as they stole the Vikings picnic basket in a clash of the top two teams in the NFC North race. The Bears currently hope to bring down another divisional enemy  in order to eat the Central Division’s lunch. Chicago led 14-3 after 3 quarters and did what’s needed scoring to hold off Minnesota’s final quarter test. The two groups turned the ball over  multiple times however the Bears had a picnic-six that helped them chomp the win. Chicago is 2-2 ATS on the road while they are 3-1 straight up on those camping trips.

DETROIT LIONS
Detroit snapped a three game losing slide as they figured out how to hold off the Panthers, to a limited extent because of luck and a couple unique team miscues via Carolina. The Lions hope to chomp consecutive wins with a goal of getting back to 0.500 on the season . Detroit was out gained 387-309 in the game: the two groups finished  with 20 first downs. The Lions controlled the clock 31:40 to 28:20. So, had Carolina not missed an extra  point, a short field goal and a two point try, things could have turned in an unexpected way. Detroit is 3-2 ATS at home this season while the UNDER is 3-2 in those games.

OUTLOOK
The two teams come into this with wins last week. The Bears have won four straight and have opened up breathing room in the NFC North race. Chicago needs to get wins where they can given that they have the Rams, Packers and Vikings ahead. The Lions ripped  their way to a victory over the Panthers yet that probably won’t help much. We saw the Bears growl past the Lions 11 days back in a game where Chicago was 26-7 at the half. Chicago could have set up more scores had Cody Parkey not banged the upright on two field goal attempts and a couple of point after attempts. It will be a tough test for the Lions, particularly if Kerryon Johnson’s knee damage that he sustained against Carolina Sunday is serious. Enjoy!

Bears vs. Lions Thanksgiving Turkey Day Free Play Odds

Detroit Lions Betting

Benefits of Team Sports for Young and Old

There is literally a ton of information online about the benefits of team sports.
We find the following infographic cuts through the noise a bit:

 

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Top Waiver Wire Pickups


The season is still in its early days, so people might not still have their routine for waiver wire down just yet. In fact, some might be wondering when will the waivers clear in their ESPN and Yahoo leagues. But, even if the time is still not exactly known, aside from usually being in the period between 4 and 5 a.m., on Wednesday, there will be new players on the roster. Everyone playing the game wants them to be the best alternatives so for NFL betting for week 3 or those into fantasy football, the choice will be between J.J. Nelson, Samaje Perine, Chris Carson, Rashard Higgins and many others. Injuries created quite a commotion in the domain of the fantasy world during the previous week, but this also creates new opportunities which can be taken by anyone.

Even in those cases where players might not be good enough to have a waiver claim merit, a shrewd move would be to pick them up down the same waiver wire. This possibility is also related to the size of the fantasy league, but there still will be many opportunities to pick up some real gems from the free agent list. Here is a breakdown of the top potential options and opportunities, along with the Week 3 matchups. However, it is important to mention that only players that are owned in less than 50% of the Yahoo leagues will be taken into consideration.

Rashard Higgins, Browns, WR

Corey Coleman has a broken hand and Kenny Britt is not up to the task so the catcher for the Cleveland is Higgins. He is a second-year out of Colorado State and so far managed to get 11 targets meant for the 95 yards. So far, not much is known about him aside from the current successes. Cleveland is going to have a game with Colts really soon and Higgins is likely to be in a range of lineup as their WR3, which makes the same receiver a potential keeper.

J.J. Nelson, Cardinals, WR

Nelson has two TDs in as many weeks and is close to having his third. In Week 2 he managed to attain 120 yards and seems to be the No. 2 for his team, while it is also true he managed to finish the last year in great shape. Right now, his Week 1 TD occurred in garbage time and he was out-targeted last week by John Brown. Still, he has a lot of big-play ability and as long as the team is missing John Brown he will be a good alternative for a seven or more targets every game.

Chris Carson, Seahawks, RB

The era of Thomas Rawls and Eddie Lacy as a shared No. 1 did not last long in Seattle and now Carson seems like the best guy in the backfield. The team’s coach Pete Carroll he wants to see more of Carson and this occurred on Sunday when the rookie ran 93 yards against the Oklahoma State. Now, chances are that his transition will not be this clean, being that Rawls is still involved. But, in spite of this, Carson is more than worth picking up.

Samaje Perine, Redskins, RB

There were no fractured ribs for Rob Kelley in Week 2 and more will be known by Week 3 about his status. But, the Redskin is playing on Sunday night and Perine is going to be an absolute must for the team. The rookie did not really impress during the last week with his run for 67 yards, but there was no fumble, which was his big problem in the pre-season.

Evan Engram, Giants, TE

With 4 out of 7 targets for 49 yards zone caught on Monday night, Engram is clearly going to be a big part of the offensive Giant’s line. This is especially true for the red zone and with the entire Giant’s injuries in Week 2 which took out Rob Gronkowski, Greg Olsen, Jimmy Graham, Tyler Eifert, and Jordan Reed, there are enough chances for him. Also, he does not have a stiff competition which makes him a good candidate for the potential TE1.

NFL Fantasy Football 2017: Sleeper Quarterbacks for Your Consideration

Everyone is looking forward to the kickoff of the 2017 NFL season and not just because of the New England Patriots/Kansas City Chiefs game that will get things started. Certainly the NFL betting odds this season are worth the hype.

 

Everyone wants to know whether or not the Patriots will be dethroned and who will carry out the deed. But for fantasy football enthusiasts, there is a whole other prize at stake. If you are part of a fantasy football league, then the chances are high that you already drafted.

 

But if you haven’t yet, there are a few significant quarterbacks you might have slept on but who most definitely deserve your consideration for the 2017 season. Sleeper quarterbacks like this are easy to miss.

 

But if you are looking for a QB late in the draft, these guys could make all the difference to your prospects this season.

 

The first name on the list has to be Jay Cutler. Maybe you thought you would never have to give Cutler another thought. After all, he seemed pretty determined to retire in the offseason. You probably think that he is already off somewhere polishing his broadcaster abilities.

 

But you are wrong. Dolphins Coach Adam Gase threw his retirement plans out the window and dragged him back into the game, not only because of the experience he brings to the table as a former Chicago Bears and Denver Broncos QB but also because Ryan Tannehill was sidelined by a knee injury that has pretty much ended his season.

 

Miami couldn’t afford to continue without  Cutler. So he is back in the game with a one-year deal, so do not count him out. This is as solid a first or second quarterback as they get.

 

Brian Hoyer closely follows Cutler on this list. Some people want to discount him because he can barely keep C.J. Beathard off his back. The San Francisco 49ers rookie is definitely impressive. But Brian is all but certain to keep his starting job this season.

 

And you know that Kyle Shanahan, the new coach, is going to get the best out of him. That is what Kyle does; he takes talent and polishes it. Brian is definitely a talent. He delivered a solid performance in the preseason.

 

The fact that he has largely gone undrafted is surprising. But he still makes a great last-round QB pick; so you might as well pounce on him.

 

DeShone Kizer has the most to prove of the bunch because no one knows whether or not he will be productive for the Browns’ offense this season. But the preseason gave everyone plenty of reason to keep an eye on Kizer. His 8 carries for 47 yards showed just how mobile he can be.

 

And with a solid team of receivers by his side, Kizer’s stock is all but guaranteed to rise.

 

People do not know what to make of Deshaun Watson of the Houston Texans. He isn’t expected to start. But do not be too quick to count him out. The one person standing in his way is Tom Savage.

 

But Tom is only guaranteed to start in Week 1. The veteran is unlikely to hold out for the whole season. So expect Watson’s potential to explode in the near future.

 

Be Creative With Your Fantasy Football League

If you can rattle off football stats faster than you can remember your mom’s birthday, there’s probably some kind of statistical probability that you are involved with a fantasy football league. They’re fun and interactive, aren’t they?

The Winnetka, Illinois-based FX comedy show “The League,” features six salt-of-the-earth football fans who take their fantasy football league to the extreme. Trying to incorporate some of their more outlandish antics and shenanigans into your team’s extracurricular gatherings is entirely up to you, of course. But hey, coming up with your own Shiva-esque trophy is one place to start.

Your entire team should keep up with all the stats, facts and games with “NFL Sunday Ticket” for this coming season. For those with players on out-of-market teams for your viewing area, you can all keep tabs throughout the entire day. Once you have your viewing schedule all mapped out, it’s time to start coming up with your own shenanigans to keep things interesting for the team.

Choose a Name for Your Team

Creating a team identity is a great way to have fun with puns and use your imagination. Sometimes fantasy football players choose names based on favorite players or teams. You can also draw inspiration from a group joke or something you remember from a previous game. One notable mention from Fan Duel Insider is “Forgetting Brandon Marshall,” inspired by the Chicago Bears wide receiver. Another classic name is the “Bradshawshank Redemption.”

Roast Your Fellow League Players

Not with actual fire, of course — use your word fire. Plan an evening involving a decadent vice or two. Beer, perhaps? Maybe you can all have a cookout leading up to a critical game and do some serious, yet well-organized, trash talking. With this event, choose an emcee that you all agree will keep the event fun and lively.

Go to Some Games Together

This one seems obvious, but sometimes working on the logistics can be tricky since cost and everyone’s respective schedules could be mitigating factors. At the very least, put it on the table for everyone to discuss.

Sour the Pot

Personal bets that don’t involve cash usually carry far more weight and laughs in the end for the person who loses. The gang on “The League” came up with some over-the-top wagers, so see what you can all come up with. One idea is for the loser (the “Sacko” equivalent from “The League”) to be required to sing a different embarrassing song in a restaurant, once a month. The crooner has to perform the song on command from the rest of the team.

My Complaint About the NFL

 

My complaint about The National Football League:

This article tells a story about power and politics and propaganda, about the tension between respectable, hardworking people and intolerant pamphleteers like The National Football League. It is a story about The National Football League’s efforts to blacklist its critics as terrorist sympathizers or traitors. As you read this article, bear in mind that there are many points of general dissatisfaction and dispute that should not, on any account, be overlooked in the discussion of the subjects here presented. One of these is that it has long served as a cheerleader for clericalism. Have you noticed that that hasn’t been covered at all by the mainstream media? Maybe they’re afraid that The National Football League will retaliate by letting advanced weaponry fall into the hands of neo-piteous tin-pot tyrants. The National Football League’s artifices are based on two fundamental errors. They assume that “metanarratives” are the root of tyranny, lawlessness, overpopulation, racial hatred, world hunger, disease, and rank stupidity, and they promote the mistaken idea that it’s inappropriate to teach children right from wrong.

If The National Football League thinks its soliloquies represent progress, it should rethink its definition of progress. The world is full of people who turn public education into a soft, mushy, touchy-feely experience whose purpose is socialization, not learning. We don’t need any more people like that. What we need are people who are willing to pull back the curtains on The National Football League’s belief systems and show them for what they really are. We need people who understand that The National Football League somehow manages to get away with spreading lies (it has achieved sainthood), distortions (black is white and night is day), and misplaced idealism (innocent spivs are more deserving of honor than our nation’s war heroes). However, when I try to respond in kind, I get censored faster than you can say “pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis”.

If you don’t think that nobody likes patronizing, malevolent yobbos, then you’ve missed the whole point of this letter. The National Football League just keeps on saying, “We don’t give a [expletive deleted] about you. We just want to remake the world to suit its own beggarly needs.” If you ever ask The National Football League to do something, you can bet that your request will get lost in the shuffle, unaddressed, ignored, and rebuffed. The National Football League is famous—infamous, really—for preventing the real problems from being solved, but I guess nobody ever explained that to its patsies.

I, speaking as someone who is not an inconsiderate mumpsimus, have an intense dislike of antisocial reavers. Fortunately, antisocial reavers don’t normally promote the ruthless hastily mounted campaigns of warped New Age hellions. The National Football League, in contrast, does little else, which leads me to believe that for the first time ever, a majority of sordid proponents of Jacobinism have been questioning their role in helping The National Football League organize a whispering campaign against me. I proclaim that we should take advantage of this historic opportunity and transform our pending national elegy into a creative psalm of brotherhood. It is the difficult decisions, the ones that have consequences, challenge orthodoxies, bear risk, and threaten status that take real courage. It takes real courage, for instance, to act against injustice, whether it concerns drunk driving, domestic violence, or even misoneism. That said, it is also the case that it demands that its “compromises” be discussed in only the most positive light. To ensure that this demand is met, The National Football League sends its terrorist organization after anyone who fails to show the utmost deference when planting big, wet, sloppy kisses on The National Football League’s behind.

The National Football League can’t seriously believe that hanging out with temperamental, bookish urban guerrillas is a wonderful, culturally enriching experience, can it? This can be answered most easily by stating that its hypocritical, insensitive snow jobs are, in principle and in reality, nothing more than a termagant mechanism for letting down ladders that the out-of-touch, disingenuous, and inaniloquent scramble to climb. It is for this reason that I find it hilarious that The National Football League would have the audacity to even pretend that it is the one who will lead us to our great shining future. As we all know, the truth is that I wish I didn’t have to be the one to break the news that the The National Football League Foundation’s latest report on pestilential aspheterism is filled with fabrications, half-truths, innuendo, and guilt by association. Nevertheless, I cannot afford to pass by anything that may help me make my point. So let me just state that if The National Football League is going to put political correctness ahead of scientific rigor, then it should at least have the self-respect to remind itself of a few things: First, nobody seems to realize that it is leading us down the road of totalitarianism. And second, it says it’ll strip people of their rights to free expression and individuality if anyone dare threaten the existence of its junta. What’s scary is that “threaten” can be defined in an almost unlimited number of ways. For instance, The National Football League might consider it threatening if one were to claim that it ignores the most basic ground rule of debate. In case you’re not familiar with it, that rule is: attack the idea, not the person.

The National Football League has been fostering corruption and repression. Should doing so buy it the right to dialogue, negotiation, concessions, and power? I say no because The National Football League is gorged to the point of bursting at its groaning seams with the obdurate tosh of Fabianism. I’m not saying that facetiously; as people who know me indisputably realize, I always mean what I say and say what I mean. They also realize that The National Football League undeniably yearns for the Oriental despotisms of pre-Hellenic times, the neolithic culture that preceded the rise of self-consciousness and egoism. By the same token, it abhors the current era, in which people are free to create new and affirmative conceptions of the self.

The National Football League believes in “free speech by permit only”, but what makes matters completely intolerable is knowing that The National Football League is convinced that people everywhere have a deeply held love of hucksterism. I contend that if it held a rally in support of hucksterism, no more than two people would show up—one if you exclude the local street vendor who just happens to be peddling his wares in the vicinity. The reason, obviously, is that The National Football League sometimes has trouble convincing people that its faith in frotteurism gives it an uncanny ability to detect astral energy and cosmic vibrations. When it has such trouble, it usually trots out a few adversarial smart alecks to constate authoritatively that The National Football League defends the real needs of the working class. Whether or not that trick of its works, it’s still the case that The National Football League’s assistants have repeatedly been caught recovering the dead past by annihilating the living present. I had expected better from it and its vaunted association of abrasive gauleiters, but then again, there are two challenges we must face if we wish to repair the snippy, exploitative world we have inherited from The National Football League. The first challenge is to do everything humanly possible to bear the flambeau of freedom. This is only slightly less difficult than the second challenge, which is to convey to people the knowledge that there is no more noble activity than taking up the all-encompassing challenge of freedom, justice, equality, and the pursuit of life with full dignity. The interest of that portion of social arrangement is a trust in the hands of all those who compose it; and as none but the most obtuse twerps you’ll ever see would justify it in abuse, none but prevaricators would barter it away for their own personal advantage. The implication, of course, is that The National Football League’s roorbacks run contrary to even the most cursory observation of the real world. I always catch hell whenever I say something like that so let me assure you that it seems that no one else is telling you that it uses isolated incidents to make slatternly, all-encompassing claims about its castigators. So, since the burden lies with me to tell you that, I suppose I should say a few words on the subject. To begin with, I’m no psychiatrist. Still, from the little I know about psychiatry I can say that The National Football League seems to exhibit many of the symptoms of Asperger’s syndrome. I don’t say that to judge but merely to put The National Football League’s crafty insinuations into perspective.

The National Football League has recently started treating anyone who doesn’t agree with it to a torrent of vitriol and vilification. For some this development is a sign that a brave new world has arrived. For others it marks the beginning of the end of civilization. I lie in the second camp, primarily on the grounds that The National Football League says that there won’t be any blowback from its depressurizing the frail vessel of human hopes. You know, it can lie as much as it wants, but it can’t change the facts. If it could, it’d unmistakably prevent anyone from hearing that a great many of us don’t want it to unleash carnage and barbarity. Still, we feel a prodigious pressure to smile, to be nice, and not to object to its repulsive, blasphemous jeremiads. The National Football League exists for one reason and for one reason only: to yield this country to the forces of darkness, oppression, and tyranny.

When was the last time you heard The National Football League mention that its jibes have created a potentially poisonous brew of alienation and rootlessness that its gang expertly exploits to recruit new members? Probably never. That’s why its anecdotes are steeped in uncivilized miserabilism. But you knew that already. So let me add that many people are shocked when I tell them that anyone who thinks that its credos won’t be used for political retribution has never been hauled before a tribunal and accused of teetotalism. And I’m shocked that so many people are shocked. You see, I had thought everybody already knew that it says that it needs a little more time to clean up its act. As far as I’m concerned, its time has run out.

I certainly hope that humanity will rid this earth of deplorable goofballs with the greatest dispatch, since otherwise, the earth might well become rid of humanity. If The National Football League’s refrains aren’t contumelious, I don’t know what is. I am not in any way placing the blame on The National Football League for beer-guzzling big-labor bosses who manipulate the unseen mechanisms of society so as to defend authoritarianism, cynicism, and notions of racial superiority. That notwithstanding, The National Football League is still culpable for plotting to show us a gross miscarriage of common judgment. As a consistently mortified observer of The National Football League’s prophecies, I can’t help but want to address the real issues faced by mankind. The National Football League wants to foster and intensify its drug-drenched drama of immorality. Why it wants that, I don’t know, but that’s what it wants. I detest, with a detestation unutterable, all incontinent knee-biters who sell otherwise perfectly reasonable people the idée fixe that the media should “create” news rather than report it. Never forget that and never let The National Football League revive an arcadian past that never existed. 🙂

Remarkable Johnny Manziel (NFL fiction)

Remarkable Johnny Manziel

A Short Story
by Emmanuel Perez

Johnny Manziel looked at the silver football in his hands and felt relaxed.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his gawdy surroundings. He had always loved American Dallas with its creepy, chubby Cowboys. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel relaxed.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Jerry Jones. Jerry was a cowardly coward with dirty feet and fragile hands.

Johnny gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a remarkable, clumsy, whiskey drinker with fat feet and ugly hands. His friends saw him as a spluttering, spotless saint. Once, he had even revived a dying, Johnny’s reputation.

But not even a remarkable person who had once revived a dying, Johnny’s reputation, was prepared for what Jerry had in store today.

The clouds danced like shouting Cowboys, making Johnny calm.

As Johnny stepped outside and Jerry came closer, he could see the tense glint in his eye.

Jerry gazed with the affection of 7730 intuitive pickled Patriots. He said, in hushed tones, “I love you and I want dedication.”

Johnny looked back, even more calm and still fingering the silver football. “Jerry, I will wreck this league,” he replied.

They looked at each other with healthy feelings, like two pickled, pleasant Packers drinking at a very proud Superbowl, which had jazz music playing in the background and two creepy uncles chatting to the beat.

Johnny studied Jerry’s dirty feet and fragile hands. Eventually, he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” began Johnny in apologetic tones, “but I don’t feel the same way, and I never will. I just don’t love you Jerry.”

Jerry looked jumpy, his emotions raw like a disturbed, dirty dollar bill.

Johnny could actually hear Jerry’s emotions shatter into 9572 pieces. Then the cowardly coward hurried away into the distance.

Not even a glass of whiskey would calm Johnny’s nerves tonight.

THE END